


What are you up to now, Chirrut?

by Mourshkin



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Baze was not made for customer service, Chirrut knows how to cheer him up, M/M, Pranks, Pre-Canon, Why can't customers just be nice?, spacedads, spiritassassin, temple days, young guardians
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-28
Updated: 2017-06-28
Packaged: 2018-11-20 08:18:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11331954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mourshkin/pseuds/Mourshkin
Summary: While they're guiding some particularly unpleasant pilgrims, Chirrut uses all his wiles to cheer up Baze. With predictably unpredictable results!For anyone who hates customer service, particularly @PaniJeziora who was having a hard day!





	What are you up to now, Chirrut?

**Author's Note:**

> Can you tell I'm bitter about my stint as a tour guide? Haha based on pranks me and my colleagues would play to make the day bareable. Can imagine Chirrut coming up with endlessly convoluted pranks just to hear Baze laugh...

"Is it always this dusty?" The tone of distaste made Baze clench his jaw, biting back a bitter reply. But he was saved by Chirrut-

"You're right! As a desert planet, we tend to have a lot of sand. Think of it like a trip to the beach."

Baze huffed a small laugh. Ahead of him, leading the group of pilgrims, Chirrut tilted his head and grinned. Chirrut knew that his partner had no patience for these types of visitors and always threw in jokes to make their time as guides pass quicker. 

"Except without the heat. Or water." Grumbled another pilgrim who had a mouth like a cat's arse from years of complaining. Baze was thinking how badly he could maim a pilgrim before he would be expelled from the order when is partner replied-

"Correct again! We haven't had a case of heat stroke in years. And no reported shark attacks for at least 6 months. Isn't that right, Guardian Malbus?"

"At least." Said Baze with enough smile in his voice to let Chirrut know his game was working.

The 'pilgrims' continued to grumble quietly like sheep being herded. They looked like sheep too, Baze thought, corralled between Chirrut at the front and Baze bringing up the rear as they guided them towards the temple.

He didn't like to think of these visitors as real pilgrims. People came to visit the city's many temples of all sorts of of reasons. To worship, to study, to rest or for shelter. Each was respectful, the Disciples enjoyed their visit and Guardians felt satisfied doing their duty to protect them.

But these people were a different breed. Seemingly born with a scowl and complaint on their lips. It appeared to Baze that they only visited in order to say 'they had been and it was disappointing.' But the temple benefitted from their money and duty was duty. So Chirrut and Baze made the most of the time, playing games and winding up the visitors. He was starting to get the hang of it now, as they entered the main market he said-

"Stick close here. The locals call this the Red Market."

"Why?" Asked a credulous visitor. 

"Haggling can become very violent here. By the end of the day, the sand will be stained red with blood." Chirrut called gleefully over his shoulder. Baze couldn't repress a twisted smile as the group bunched closer together. 

"And tell me why we are being lead through dangerous territory by a blind man?" The complaint was whispered but Baze heard it and it made him tighten his grip in his staff.

"These 'Guardians' seem a shoddy lot. I don't like he could guard us from anything." The whispered reply found Baze's hand on the charge trigger of his lightbow.

"Probably simple too. Shark attacks? There can't even be enough water on this rock to fill a bath tub!" 

'That's it' thought Baze and hefted his staff like a javelin. It whistled low over the pilgrim's heads making them duck and gasp. 

Without turning or braking step, Chirrut caught the staff with a lazy twist of the wrist. It was a trick they practiced often and had earned Chirrut a few bruises as a child. Now it looked almost inhumanly skilful and Baze enjoyed the awed faces that resulted.

That seemed to keep the visitors quiet for the rest of the journey through the city. Or perhaps Chirrut's endless stream of jokes and nonsense gave them no chance to speak. In any case his prattling had managed to soothe Baze's temper by the time they reached the Temple gates. He was beginning to think he would be able to survive without actually snapping at someone when-

"And here, sadly, I must leave you. Guardian Malbus will lead you through the Temple gardens and the five stages of the Devotions." Baze choked. Chirrut's face broke with a sly grin.

He was planning something.


End file.
